Which NFL Fanbases Have the Most Bald Fans? A Hair-Raising Analysis
As the NFL season approaches, fans across the country are gearing up for another year of heartbreak, triumph, and the kind of stress that apparently makes your hair fall out.
To find out if this has any truth, the research team at Free Bets doffed our hats to investigate which fan bases are literally losing their hair over football. Because we couldn’t get our hands on the NFL’s hat sales revenue figures, we asked 3,000 male NFL fans a more direct question: Are you bald or balding, and when exactly did it start?
What we discovered just might explain why certain team stores move far more headwear than others...
Key Takeaways:
- Nearly half (47.5%) of Pittsburgh Steelers fans report being bald or balding, making them the NFL's shiniest fan base
- The Los Angeles Rams have the most follicularly fortunate fans, with only 21.5% experiencing hair loss
- AFC North fans might want to invest in sunscreen: three of the division's four teams rank in the NFL’s top 10 for baldness rates
- Las Vegas Raiders fans start losing their hair earliest (age 27), while Rams fans hold onto theirs until 36
- The average male NFL fan has a 36% chance of being bald or balding, with hair loss typically starting around age 30
Steel City, Chrome Domes
Maybe it's genetic karma for having six Super Bowl rings, but Pittsburgh Steelers fans lead the league with a whopping 47.5% baldness rate, 11.5% higher than the league average of 36%. That's nearly one in two Terrible Towel wavers sporting a shiny scalp at what will always be known to fans as Heinz Field.
But hey, they're in good company. Head coach Mike Tomlin is a member of the bald brethren, who famously sent fans into a frenzy when he was spotted without his signature hat a few years back.
Following closely behind is that other NFL team from Pennsylvania, the Philadelphia (Bald) Eagles fans with 43.3% of male fans self-reporting some degree of baldness. And before you blame it on high-stress division rivalries, consider this: their NFC East rivals in Dallas (42.4%) and the New York Jets (41.1%) aren't far behind. At 31.8%, Washington fans then should consider themselves fortunate, considering all the money they must save on headwear.
The Baldest Division? It's Not Even Close
When we break it down by division, the AFC North emerges as the clear leader in naked noggins. With the league-leading Steelers (47.5%), followed by the Browns (41.1%), Ravens (38.6%), and Bengals (35.2%), this division averages a 40.6% baldness rate. That's a lot of glare coming off the stands during those cold December divisional games. With that much exposed scalp in the stands, it's no wonder these franchises are raking in some serious beanie bucks.
The NFC East comes in second with a 39.4% average, proving that high-stress football and hair retention don't mix well. Meanwhile, the NFC West boasts the best collective hairlines, averaging just 30.4% baldness across all four teams.
Bald Head to Bald Head Matchups
Some of the NFL's biggest rivalries take on new meaning when you factor in follicle count:
- Cowboys vs. Eagles: Despite all that trash talk between these NFC East rivals, their baldness rates are surprisingly close, as Eagles fans edge out Cowboys supporters 43.3% to 42.4%. That means whether you're dealing with the obnoxiousness of "America's Team" clinging to a 30-year-old Lombardi, or having batteries thrown at you in Philly, there’s a good chance that insufferable fan is a bald one.
- Bears vs. Packers: Chicago takes this historic rivalry decisively with 42.7% baldness compared to Green Bay's 25.3%, the second-lowest in the league, though Bears fans might feel betrayed knowing even Brian Urlacher abandoned the bald brotherhood for a full head of hair while they still resemble the city's most famous reflective landmark, "The Bean."
- Steelers vs. Ravens: Pittsburgh fans (47.5%) significantly out-bald their Baltimore rivals (38.6%) in this AFC North blood feud, though both teams' fans start losing hair around the same age (31 vs. 28), indicating the toll of this rivalry plays no favorites.
- Raiders vs. Chiefs: While Raiders fans embrace the dark side and baldness early (starting at 27), they barely edge out their AFC West rivals in overall chrome dome percentage (38.0% vs. 38.2%), suggesting that whether you're in Vegas or Kansas City, division rivalry stress hits follicles equally hard.
- Patriots vs. Jets: Gang Green fans (41.5%) might have bragging rights in the baldness department over their New England rivals (38.5%), but Patriots fans can console themselves knowing they start losing their hair three years later (age 32 vs. 29), just like their dynasty lasted longer, too.
- 49ers vs. Seahawks: The NFC West rivalry stays lopsided even in the hair department, with the 12th (Bald) Man in Seattle (32.9%) significantly less shaggy than the Faithful in San Francisco (26.5%), though both fan bases enjoy some of the latest onset ages in the league (33 and 30, respectively).
But beyond the trash talk and divisional bragging rights, there's another factor that separates fan bases: when exactly their hair started disappearing in the first place.
Early Onset and Late Bloomers
NFL fandom might actually be aging fans faster than nature intended. While medical research has found most men start experiencing hair loss in their late twenties to early thirties, according to the Cleveland Clinic, one fan base is defying those odds.
Rams fans are far and away the league’s most hardy hair growers, somehow managing to keep their hair until 36, defying both science and league trends. Maybe it's that California sunshine, the laid-back West Coast vibe, or just good old-fashioned LA vanity keeping them lined up for hair restoration surgery.
What Does It All Mean?
Look, we're not necessarily saying that rooting for certain teams causes hair loss. But if you're a young man choosing an NFL team to support and you're particularly attached to your hairline, you might want to think twice about buying certain jerseys.
So next Sunday, when you're watching the game, take a look around. Those shiny heads aren't just reflecting the stadium lights. They're reflecting the passion, stress, and dedication of true NFL fandom. And honestly? That's beautiful. Well, reflective, but beautiful. Just don’t forget the sunscreen, cutie.
Methodology
We surveyed over 3,000 self-identified male NFL fans across the U.S., asking which team they support, whether they consider themselves bald or balding, and at what age their hair loss began. Each team's baldness rate was calculated as the proportion of fans who reported being bald or balding, and the average onset age was based on those responses.
Fair Use
Found this data fascinating? Feel free to share it! You can use our findings and graphics for any non-commercial purposes. All we ask is that you include a link back to this page, so others can enjoy the full follicular analysis.
